omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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