I cannot find my penis.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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