good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
