So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
