was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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