last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
