After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
