Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
