so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
