so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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