i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
