Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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