I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
