I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
