So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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