would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
