He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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