Nicole vs. Life
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
