I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
