are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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