someone owes me an orgasm
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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