dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
