Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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