Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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