she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Randomize
