My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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