Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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