My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
