"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
