end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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