Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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