it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Green mimosas i think yes
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
