Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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