Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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