I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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