What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
