I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
