I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
