In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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