we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
