You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
