Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
North Korea, Best Korea!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
