We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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