I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
