Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
