Just cropdusted the office
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
