My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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