Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
