What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
