i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
