You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
