I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
